12/06/2015

A Bitter Pill

I wrote this post under the influence of sad songs and miserable tunes an article about two persons who are not dating but emotionally attached to each other. Simply because they have the same sparks but eventually they're only sparks, not more than just a glimpse of lights with several 'pops' and they're yellow. Gold, even.

Every time I walk pass through some places we went together, I remember everything clearly. Where we're sitting, what we ordered, what we're wearing. Okay, too much, I don't really remember what we're wearing, but the most important of all, I remember how it made me feel. I didn't want it to end.
Though it ended.
And for every songs we listened in my car, well, my Dad's car, I remember you. How you react to a certain lyrics, how you showed me a video you love, and how you awkwardly imitating some of the moves from the video. Priceless.
Until now.

And the movies we watched together, there were... three movies I guess. But I can only recall two titles: 'Her', and 'Mr. Peabody and Sherman'. Maybe we only went to the cinema twice, I can't remember. But, the most important thing of all is, I remember it was all with you.
You were amazed by the story line of 'Her'.
You laughed so hard while watching 'Mr. Peabody and Sherman'.
I was happy.

I know I was happy.
Oh, the endless chat we had, you're the reason I smile for every 'ladder' from my phone. I don't mind reading words that I can't understand, since it's taken from your college text book, I like to keep up with the things you love. I love when we trade our schedule, just to inform each other. When you had your exams, when you went to the Church, when you had to deal with your homework, I love to know every details.
Too much details.

And this trip:

It was great, if it's not perfect. To do something for the first time with you, visiting some place new, creating experiences. Once again, I was happy.
But I can't make you stay.
You flew away, in a blink of the eyes, without any warning, and what is left is just me in the dark. I was clueless, had no right to ask you to come back, or stay.

I was wrong to think that we meant to be forever, or last longer than just several months, but there's no regret.

Only unanswered questions.

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